


My poetry

by Tobi_Starr



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobi_Starr/pseuds/Tobi_Starr
Summary: So I started something similar to this on Fictionpad.com (which is currently dying) but it's a book with my poems in it. I want to share my poetry with everyone who needs it or somewhere to turn to.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my very first attempts at poetry without it being an assignment. I was in a dark place at the time I was writing this and added the ending when I got "better". I still struggle but I learned to not let it control my life so I made this poem to those who struggle

_**For Those Who Are Hurting** _

Every day you struggle going to school;

Everybody can be mean but so cool;

You wish that you were like them;

Or like him;

That man that you constantly see;

A different person you want to be;

Trust me when I say;

That things may be bad now;

But remember to be yourself;

How? You may ask;

Be yourself;

Don’t wear that stupid makeup;

That society tells you to wear;

Listen to what they have to say;

But not to the extent that they tell you who to be;

Be yourself;

Don’t wear things that are unbearable;

Not the things what society is wearing;

Be yourself;

Be the person you need to be;

Not who society wants you to be;

Trust me when I say this;

Cuts and bruises will not make any of this any better;

Only you can make things better with your actions;

Be yourself;

Not who society thinks you should be;

For you are loved;

You are loved by friends;

by Family;

Even by me;

You may not know me personally;

But I know how it feels to be in your shoes;

We are not suppressed by anyone else but society, ourselves, and our own minds;

We lie to ourselves sometimes to think we are worse than we believe;

But you are you;

And you should be proud;

That you are you…

I love you for who you are;

And you better know it, _**FRIEND**_.


	2. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was when I was my first relationship was called off and started my depression then my resentment. I wrote this after the first one but chronologically this poem should be first.

Everything that I had gotten

Is dead because

I fell too hard

For you

Everything I felt

That had been so open to you

Is dead

Now because I bottle it up

Inside an imaginary bottle

In my heart

Until it decides to break

When it does I curse your name

Due to you

I am not mentally here

My heart

That loved too much

Is gone


	3. Hopes and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this one I have to explain a bit more.  
> When I was about 5, I watched my biological father get arrested for something that I still don't know why but oh well. What I didn't know that it would be the last time I saw him until I would turn 7. He drove me to his apartment and I stayed with him for 2 days but he said something that made me confused and upset with him. When I asked him why he never came back after he was arrested he said that there wasn't any real reason to do so. He then proceeded to say and I quote: "I never wanted a daughter but a son and yet here you are."  
> I was thinking about that moment when my mom called (I live with my grandparents) and said that bio dad wanted my contact info and I thought about it. My mind eventually settled for no. So yea.

As a child

I had dreams and hopes

That maybe my birth father

Would come and stay with me every time

He asked if I wanted to see him

But every time he left my life

Disappear and not be heard from

Until I was taken by the state

We had visits every week

But then they stopped

No idea why

But they did

He wasn’t heard from until the 7th of November 2017

He called my mom asking for my contact information

She let me decide

And I want to speak to him again

But at the same time I don’t

For I’m afraid that he will leave again

What decision should I do

Call or never talk to him?

That is the reason for this poem...


	4. Fake Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never had actual friends until I was a sophomore in high school and was thinking back to my old bully

You say you’re my friend

But is that true?

You act as if I’m a pawn

In your game of insults

Especially at school in the halls

You shove me aside

But still have the audacity to say that you do care

Please keep all useless pleas to yourself

If you gotta fake it till you make it

Then do it without me

You led me to depression

You led me to my sadness

Most of all

If you are reading this…

I am dead now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of years ago in 2016, I was going to a rest bed home. I saw the bully get in while I was laughing and accidentally said their name and they weren't too happy. So the next day at the rest bed home this bitch tried to spread lies about me (not the first time either) to the girls, all of which knew me and called them out on their lie. So me being nearby in a room, walked out and flat out said: "You wanna talk shit about me you little bitch. Say it when I'm in the fucking room next time. Got it fucking slut?" and I shit you not, every person in that room immediately started laughing their asses off because they all knew my bully was a slut for any boy she stumbled into and that she found hot. They howled with laughter and my bully stormed out crying. A 16-year-old girl who called herself a woman was sobbing like a baby without a blanket.


	5. Letting Go Of My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fell into a dark place again when I wrote this and needed to vent

This teen in front of you

Is alone

Afraid to be herself

Afraid of what others think about her

She has depression

A bottomless pit of emotions and tears

Bottled up anger and painful fears

But through all of this

She smiles when she wants to cry

She laughs when she wants to scream

She is a ticking bomb that has to be defused

Before her emotions blow up

Before she breaks

Before someone says ‘I hate you’

The words she wants to here is

“I love you for who you are”

These few words can make her day

But no one cares for a nobody like herself

She doesn’t fit into society

No one cares enough to see what’s behind the mask

That she constantly wears.

She has a plan to make everyone happy

But who’s there when she falls

No one

She cares not if she falls

But if others fall

She feels like she lead them to it

So now’s the time to let go of her regret

And to let go and fall

Hoping that someone will catch her

This is her letting go of her soul.


End file.
